38

Tomorrow I turn 38. I've been walking around singing "Knock knock knockin on 40s' door...."

Not since I turned 25 and then again at 35, have I felt the weight of a birthday. 
25 because it was a quarter of a century and that just felt like a lot (now I know better).
35 because I had just lost my baby and I was thinking about trying again and what that was gonna mean being 35, and I just wasn't in the mood of celebrating.
And now 38 because it is so close to 40 and there are still so many questions to consider.

I was very lucky last night to get the opportunity to celebrate my birthday with my best friend at my favorite restaurant; without kids and without husbands. What a TREAT. She is seriously my touchstone and we have so much in common. She understands me, gives great advice and knows when I just need someone to listen to me.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will hold... literally and figuratively but I sure am excited to find out.

xoxo
S

21 months

Calli is now talking in full sentences. Mostly to tell us No she is not going to do the thing we have asked her to do... no mommy, no close the door... no mommy, no shirt... you get the idea.
We survived a nasty stomach bug last week and so this weekend was full of tickles and snuggles and kisses. I can't believe we are 21 months in. The baby is gone and toddler tantrums are in full swing. I can't help but laugh... except when she is kicking and swatting and spitting... those I HATE.
Here are some of the cuter things she is up to...
Calli likes to ask what everyone is doing, especially around bedtime. When you tell her what other people are doing she likes to tell you that she is supposed to be doing that too... daddy watching movie?... Calli too. But when someone is sleeping she is quick to say no sleeping.
Calli can count to 15. We used to count the stairs to ten and then all of sudden this weekend she kept going to 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15. I was so surprised.
Calli got a stool for Christmas and is loving pushing it up to the kitchen counter to see what she can get her hands on and in!!
She can name a bunch of animals and their sounds.

All in all we are having a blast!
xo
S

January

It is so cold. I barely know how to dress myself on a daily basis much less the little one.
We are just getting over some major bugs in our house. We all had a cold over the holidays. It was almost (a suspicious ear and eye) an ear infection for Calli. It was a bad cold for me and hubby got off the easiest.
Fast forward to this past weekend... I stayed home on Friday because I was just miserable with another cold.  Coughing, sore throat, watery eyes... the works. Calli had a not great, not bad day at daycare on Thursday but was great at night so I brought her in on Friday in hopes of getting some rest and kicking my cold to the curb. I thought she was just getting my cold. She stayed all day on Friday and had had a good day when I picked her up.
Saturday, 2am, she calls for me. Greg gets her out of the crib, brings her to me, she spends about 3 minutes in our bed and vomits. ALL OVER.  Then spends the next 6-8 hours vomiting every 15-30 minutes. It was just about the worst way to spend a night. I felt so bad for her... and for us. She started to feel better at about 8:30am. Then I limited her water and food intake the rest of the day in hopes of keeping the bug away.
Sunday we were all ok...
Monday morning 4am, hubby got it...yesterday, he got it again.
I am sitting here crossing my fingers I don't get it.

UGH!
s

2015

No resolutions here but definetly some questions to consider and answer:

• Why is Calli still waking in the middle of the night and what are you going to do about it?
• Why do you continually say that you are going to get healthy and then immediately sabotage yourself? Do you REALLY think that buying an elliptical machine will be the answer?
• What steps can you take in real time and in real situations to make to improve your relationships?
• How can you take that step at work to feel like you are really doing the best job you can?
• Start thinking about what this degree can/will do for you...
• Where can you say "NO" to help say answer some of the questions above?

I feel like if I can keep these questions in the back of my head and continually strive to answer them I might be on a good path.
Some of these questions can probably be answered today... like Calli waking in the night...
Some others need more reflection and planning and some real thought.

Happy New Year!!
s

Calli-isms

• Mon Mom- means C'mon mom. I realized that I say "c'mon" all the time and only really noticed when Calli started saying it too.
• Ca Ca- are crackers
• Uh-oh- Calli will say uh-oh when she wants you to come and see what she has done; good or bad. The quicker she repetitively says it, the quicker you better get to where she is.
• It's a mess- Calli loves to make a mess and then tell you that it is a mess.
• Hi Mommy- recently Calli has started waking up in the middle of the night. When I go into her room to see if she is ok, she says "Hi Mommy" as if she hadn't just been screaming bloody murder a few moments earlier.
• I fine- Every time Calli falls or has a coughing fit or for some reason shown some distress, I will ask her if she is ok. "I fine" is the answer I always get.
• I got you!- I'm not really sure where she picked this one up but whenever you scoop her up or there is a lull in the excitement she will come up to you, envelop you in  hug and say "I got you!"
• "Wook, Mommy wook!"-is of course look. But it sounds adorable when she says it.
• Lately she has been shushing me because the baby is sleeping. I'm not sure if it is one of her baby dolls, because she hasn't played with them in that way with me before. But apparently there is a baby sleeping nearby that doesn't appreciate my loud voice.
• We have also started to introduce drawing around here and all of the pencils, pens, colored pencils, and markers are all pens. Yes I made the huge blunder in giving her pens to draw with. My ottoman, coffee table and glider are all victims. Also countless shirts, socks and I have found pen marks on hands, feet, her neck and once in her ear.
• Mom, Mommy, Mama, Mo-om and Ma- are all names that she uses to get my attention. They all have their own inflection and tone, especially dependent on  what she wants at that moment.

We are having such a great time. She loves to repeat and ask what everything is and also lately she loves to ask why. Luckily I haven't gotten sick of it yet.

Happy New Year!
xo

Santa

Calli knows who he is, can point him out in a crowd and might be dreaming about him; the other morning she whispered in my ear, "Santa!"

This past Sunday evening we got bundled up to hear the carol sing, watch Santa arrive and visit with him. We missed most of it but still got to visit with Santa.

This is gonna be fun!

Calli: Mesmerized by the lights and the music. Greg: freezing.

All bundled up, waiting to visit Santa.

Food Allergy

Last Sunday I was snacking on a pecan sticky bun and Calli was in my lap begging for a bite. I gave her a piece and as she ran back to play with her toys I turned to my computer to continue writing my paper. I could hear her in the other room gagging a little and I could tell something was wrong. I scooped her up and brought her upstairs to my husband. When we got there she vomited. We cleaned her up gave her some Benadryl and tried to get on with our day. A few minutes later she threw up again. Worrisome but nothing else was happening. I called the doctors office anyway to ask if they thought I should be worried. They wanted to see her. Turns out that vomiting is a symptom of anaphylaxis. Calli has vomited before from granola and has gotten hives from an everything cookie as well as some other stuff. The doctor felt that we were out of the woods on Sunday but wanted us to see an allergist to see what was up.
Tuesday morning we visited an allergist and finally got tested. They rubbed some nut essence into Calli's arms as well as dog essence and eggs. Turns out that Calli is allergic to tree nuts, dogs and eggs (Although she can eat baked goods with eggs in them). The test itself was not that bad; the hard part was keeping Calli from scratching her arms for the 15 minute duration.
Yes, you heard me...nuts. We are now a nut free family... but not peanuts. Yup. Cuh-razy!
I am having a hard time processing all of this. I am hyper aware of everything she puts in her mouth. Every time she coughs I am checking to see if her lips are swelling. I am already anticipating using the epi-pen. I know that this is pretty common these days and much more do-able than it used to be... I am still FUH-REAKING out.
I dreamed last night that I had to give a speech about food allergies...
I know that this is normal given the gravity and newness of the news... however.

Anyone out there have any experience?

xo
S