I am having such a problem with Facebook lately... I love to see what people are up to and watch their children grow and hear about all the good stuff that is happening. What I hate are the ads and sponsored posts and whatnot. I also feel like every time I post something I think so much about what people are thinking about me and judging me based on my posts... It really irritates me that I put so much thought into it.
This past weekend my family and I were on a mini vacation and having some much needed time away to unwind and spend some time together and with good friends. Friday also happened to be the anniversary of my first daughter, Luciana's demise. We took a few minutes to remember and mourn and then we continued our vacation. I bought a necklace that made me think of her.
I wanted to post about it and started to a few times and then didn't. I struggled with what people would think and what I would say in between my posts of enjoyment. Let's face it, I was struggling with the memory too. I've been thinking about it for days now and I really can't figure it out. I'm glad that I didn't post a thing.
That day will forever be etched in my memory as the saddest day ever. Thank you for thinking of me.



Summer time

Oh what fun! Although I am still working full time and taking a class (that ends in a week or so) we are trying to maximize the summer nights and weekends as much as possible. We try to take a walk every night after dinner and spend every weekend doing something fun. Splash pads and visiting with friends, visiting the town carnival, taking a dip in the pool, ice cream for lunch and dinner, shorts and sandals and smelling like sunscreen... I hope summer never ends.
Calli has been staying home with Daddy and it is so cool to see their relationship grow. I was so excited about this but it has been harder than  I expected! I AM JEALOUS! I WANT TO
We also had our one year/family photo shoot with the very talented Leah Martin. She was amazing! I have known her a super long time so we all felt at ease and she was quick to figure out what would work best for us. See some pics below! Call her if you are thinking of doing this! I highly recommend!!!

I am holding off on 15 month stats because our appointment is scheduled for 16 months for some reason... stay tuned.



I constantly feel like I'm playing a game of numbers everywhere I go...
Age, weight, salary, calories, miles, sizes, prices, number of babies, how many semesters left... It is a lot to think about and a lot of try to navigate. I am 37 years old, I can see 40 and am starting to think about what I want to be when I am 40 and what I need to do to get there. It's a lot of work but it needs to be done. Boring right? More like scary!!!
Some of the questions I am pondering are "do we want to have another baby?", "Is this degree really worth all of this time away from my family?", "What is my three year plan?", "how do I get a three year plan?", "why do I eat better and work out and don't lose a pound?", "How much salary is enough? and how do I get there and still have some flexibility?"...
These are truly the things that keep me up at night. I'm not writing them here for answers necessarily; more to write them out and let them out into the universe and see what happens. I am a true believer that things happen when they are supposed to and that answers bubble up when you least expect it. I am writing this to say "OK UNIVERSE! I'M READY FOR SOME ANSWERS!!"
I also think that women go through a lot of the same things at the same time and don't talk about it and therefore don't have anyone to to go through it with. Yes of course my husband and I talk about all of this and more but sometimes it is nice to get a woman's perspective, especially someone who may be pondering the same questions at 3am.
I had my first meeting with a member of my personal board of directors, to talk about these very things. She was great and was able to give me some ideas on how to get started on this three year plan. I'll keep you posted!