Pain

This is truly the hardest and most painful post to write. I buried my daughter yesterday. She was stillborn last Monday. I am still waiting to wake up from this terrible nightmare.
Yesterday we put her in the ground with my father to watch over her. She was so little. There are no words to make this better. I am praying that time can heal this wound.
My husband held her and told her of the love that we have for her. He whispered her name Luciana Fiona Campbell to her and stayed with her until the last moments.
I thank you all for the love and flowers and cards. Every little thing helps us to get a little stronger.

Ciao
S

OMG

I am so excited... the creator of Sassy and Jane Magazine (one of my all time favorite magazines that was discontinued) has a website that is AWESOME!
yayay

Check it!

Ciao
S

Fun fun

Two names you are called that are not your real name:
1. Fania
2. Zia

Two things you're wearing now:
1. gauchos
2. flip flops

What are 2 of your favorite things to do:
1. read
2. dinner with friends

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1. to have all the laundry and cleaning done
2. to take a nap

Two things you did yesterday:
1. grocery shopped
2. worked

Two things you ate yesterday:
1. leftover ice cream cake
2. leftover pizza

Two people you last talked to:
1. My mother
2. My sister

Two things you are doing tomorrow:
1. EXTRAVAGANZA!
2. Water aerobics

Two favorite holidays:
1. Valentine's Day
2. Thanksgiving


Two favorite beverages:
1. Coffee
2. Red Wine (obvs not lately)

Two people no longer alive that you'd like to talk to:
1. my Dad
2. my nonna

Just thought it would be fun to do some of these old questionnaires.

Here is another:(got this one from here)

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing?
It's one of my maternity shirts that I love the most. It is purple and kinda striped. VERY COMFY.

What’s currently bothering you?

Being stuck here.

What do you currently hear?

Listening to Pandora. Great station with all my favs... currently Madonna.

When was the last time you had your hair cut?

Funny that you ask... can't remember so I'm going in for a trim tomorrow.

When were you last outside?

This morning when I got to work at 8am. I wanted to go out at lunch but last time I did that and sat on a bench outside my office reading for a bit I came in with ticks. Yuck. Not doing that again.

Are you wearing shorts?

Well, it depends if gauchos can be considered shorts. I don't think so...

Does the thought of marriage scare you?

Nope.

What did you do today?

I've been at work all day... working on this during my lunch... yeah...

Look to your left, what is there?

My office phone, that hasn't rang more than 4 times today.... just sayin.

What time did you go to sleep last night?

I got into bed at 10 and read and chatted with hubby for a bit.

When is your Birthday?

February 17

The way to win your heart?

Just be genuine and real.

What are you going​ to do this weeke​nd?

Tomorrow is Extravaganza and that means cook out. Come over if you want.

Were you happy when you woke up today?

I guess, I was on my way to work.

Have you ever crawled through a window?

I think so. Vaguely remember that...

Would you ever donate blood?

I’ve tried and passed out. Never tried again. Not a fan of passing out.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?

Nope

Do you have reason to smile right now?

Yes, I am growing a baby girl and will get to meet her in less than 2 months.

What do you do when you’re stressed out?

Cry, pick a fight with hubby, become very quiet and introverted.

Would you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else?

Absolutely.

Do you open up to people easily?

Sometimes. I like to meet people and be open but the secrets are kept close to the vest.

Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes. Probably. Most likely my husband.

What is the last pill you swallowed?

Prenatal vitamin this morning.

What was the first thing you thought this morning?

Already, ugh.

Who do you blame for your bad mood today?

I’m not in a bad mood

Where is the person you like right now?

He's home... hopefully getting stuff done.

What was the first thing you did this morning?

Took a shower.

Do you care of what people think of you?

Probably more than I should.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?

At my baby shower this past Sunday I took a bunch of pics. I think the last one was a group pic with my sister and cousins. Very nostalgic.

What are you looking forward to right now?

It's 3:35 on a Friday afternoon in the middle of SUMMER.... I am dying to go home.

Do you miss someo​ne?

Not any one person in particular.

Does your crush like you?

Most days

If you could go back in time and change something would you?

Yep.

Do you hate smokers?

Nope. I hate the smoke.

Ever had a near death experience?

I almost drowned once as a 5 year old. I have vague memories of it but still love the ocean and love to swim.

Something you do a lot?

I twirl my hair and play with it ... A LOT!

Last person you cried in front of?

I'm sure it wasn't long ago... maybe a day or two at most.

Have you ever been to a tanning bed?

Yes. Once. Got a bad rash and never went back.

Does anyone hate you for no reason?

I'm sure there are haters out there.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with the letter J?

Nope

What are you stressed out about?

A lot of different things... hmmm probably the child care thing the most.

What was your favorite grade?

Gosh I think I hated them all equally until I got to college.

When is the next time you’ll see your best friend(s)?

I get to see a lot of them tomorrow at EXTRAVAGANZA.

Favorite number?

7

Ever been in love?

Yep

Are you wearing make-up?

Totally forgot this morning. I look scary.

What were you doing at 11:30 last night?

Sleeping and probably tossing and turning.

What’s the last thing you said and to who?

I just said to have a great weekend to my coworker. She just left.

Do you sleep on your stomach?

I used to. Now I try my hardest to sleep on my side.

What do you hear?

Still listening to a great Pandora station. This this seems a little redundant.

Are you ticklish?

Yes, some would say on the inside too.

Last time you saw fireworks, with who & where?

Probably at last year's Extravaganza... yay.

Ciao

xo

Happiness

Last night I walked into our bedroom and my husband was grinning... at nothing in particular and I asked him, "What's up with you?"
He answered,"I'm happy." So then I was grinning too.

This past weekend was my first baby shower and it was the epitome of happy for me. My mother and sister and her family literally showered me with so much love I was overcome with emotion the whole day. My sister's husband and kids spent the whole weekend preparing the house for the celebration. When I came down right before the guests arrived there were flowers, balloons and rubber duckies everywhere. They did so much work and it mean so much to me. I am overcome with emotion just writing this (but I guess that doesn't mean much considering I am 32 weeks preggo and spend a lot of time crying). I feel really lucky and happy and truly blessed.
I got to visit with friends and family that I haven't seen in a long time and we were celebrating the soon to be arrival of my daughter. We recalled stories of us growing up, everyone gave their advice on baby gear and 'get some sleep now'. Best of all was the collective oohs and aahs over the cute outfits. The best part was getting home and not really sure what I was gonna do with the million and one presents that were full to the brim in my car until my hubby pulled into the driveway two minutes behind me from being away for essentially two weeks. That was happiness.
The coming weeks are filled with visits and showers and friends and family and I am so happy. I'm so excited for this little lady and the family of love that she gets to enter into. She is already so loved.

hope you're having some happy too.
ciao
S

Ramblings

Because that is all I could come up with...

• Today is the first of July and truly feels like the beginning of Summer. I am so excited. I am shooting a wedding tomorrow and then nothing but work and preparing for this amazing addition to my life. Whoa!
• I got a B in that godforsaken class.... and I mad. Yup, I hated every minute of it, walked out of the final having not finished half of it and am mad that I got a B.
  
• The office is eerily quiet today. I've been immersed in bad internet and now writing this post.
• I have experienced that for some people seeing a pregnant woman brings out the worst in them. They feel compelled to say things like, "you don't look bad at all" and "getting big huh?" Even the doctor gets in on it and says things like (after putting his hands on my 30 week along belly), "you're pregnant!" I'm still on the fence about the comments (that are supposed to be positive)... "gosh you don't even really look pregnant", is that supposed to mean that all these years that I have been looking pregnant and no one told me? My absolute favorite was said to a colleague that was pregnant, "OMG look at how freaking big you are!" and "They should give her the end seat because she needs all the room she can get" Dang! That has GOT to be the worst. My rule of thumb is and always will be to not comment on anything that I would not want to hear myself, unless it is your very best friend/ sister and she asks you for your complete honest opinion. ... Actually, even then on second thought, tell her she looks great!
  
• I'm hungry. Seems like all the time.
• People are calling me "mom" and I don't realize they are talking to me.
• I am planning on spending some time with my sister and her family this weekend and I am giddy about it. I haven't seen them since Memorial Day and I MISS them tons. Her new house has an in ground pool and I plan on floating my way through the 4th.
  
• When we moved in to my childhood house growing up it had an above ground pool. I have ALWAYS been attracted to water and LOVED to swim and spend time in the ocean. That first year in our new house we had a tough time stabilizing the water, so most of that summer it was a deep swamp like green color. I didn't care one bit and spent every day of that summer swimming and floating and loving every minute of it. I'm surprised that my hair didn't turn green or my skin for that matter. In the end my mom bought a bunch of bleach and poured it in and that was what fixed it.
  

Hope you all have a fabulous 4th. Enjoy and be safe.
Ciao
xo
S